Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Questions for the bathroom slug

How long had you been living in the bathroom when I noticed you there back in December?

Did you realize how much your tiny 1-inch-self freaked me out the first couple of times I saw you?

How did you get into the bathroom -- did you come in through the broken window or the hole around the pipes?

Why do you slide around only on the tiles that surround the mirror and sink?

How do you stick to the wall? 

What is in the shiny trail that you leave behind you?

Do you ever write messages with your shiny residue?

Are you going to stay the same olive green color?

You are already over five inches long -- will you get any bigger?

What is inside of you? You look like nothing but gush.

What do you eat to make you grow so much?

Do you eat the mildew on the grout?

Are those eyes on the ends of the "horns" that you move around this way and that?

Do you see me when I watch you glide across the wall?

Are you the one who plugs up the drain in the sink every few weeks?

I haven't seen you in two weeks -- where did you go?

Are you hiding behind the bathroom mirror?

Did one of the cats catch you and eat you?

Did you decide that it is now warm enough to slide around outside?

Did you fall into the sink and drown in the drain?

Can slugs drown?

Or did you fall into some beer or salt? I haven't seen either in the bathroom, so I doubt that....

Did Tea find you and throw you outside?

Or did a chicken find its way in and gobble you up?

Did you find a shell and decide to become a snail instead?

Happy trails wherever you are!

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious!

    Thanks for the laughs,

    -- James' Mom